No Man's(Woman's) Land Roll Call

[gregp136]

As I, with the fellow Marchers and others, experience the joys of No Man’s(Woman’s) land,  it is clear we have a solid , albeit small, group of quitters struggling together through NML.  In my exploration of this site, I have come upon an idea that seems to have started with SarahP .She had a weekly No Man’s Land weekly roll call.  A chance for all the NMLers to just check in, and just let us all know we are doing okay, and to give each other any added support we can.

So let me start it.  Sunday seems like a good day to do it (even though it was on Wednesday in the past).  Every Sunday we will meet at the Sandbox, anytime of the day. Hang around as long as you want.  Come and go if you want.  The only rule is to share the Tonka Trucks.

So I will be in and out today (Tomatoes still have to be planted) and will be at the sandbox next Sunday too.

Greg

[KMC56]

Would have LOVED to have such a support group.  There was about 5 or 6 of us that quit around the same time...I think all but one have reached the 6% club...and I'll tell ya, NML is one place I don't want to revist...I was more than happy to pack my happy ass and get out of there!   Hang tough Greg!

[shashort]

I feel ya Greg and I so remember NML like yesterday. There are 2 points in my quit I never want to go back to and that was day 1 and I figure as long as I don't forfiet my quit then I won't have to go back through NML again. Hang strong Greg you are doing great. I did love the Wednesday NML postings Sarah did.

[KMC56]

Why don't I remember those???

[Barbara145]

Hi Greg.  When I was in NML I loved reading the Wednesday posts for people in No Man's Land.  I bet Guilia could fine them and post them on Sunday's. Getting through the first 3 to 4 months is what keeps a lot of people from being successful.  You are doing this!

[shashort]

@KMC56 I am not sure why Kathy I do remember them during NML and we quit close together.  Maybe it was the timing of the day you were in here and when they were posted.  Seems like they were posted early afternoons.  See if this triggers your memory Kathy @

No Man's Land Weekly Blog -- Dealing with Stress

Blog Post created by SarahP on Aug 24, 2016

I hope I copied right.

[shashort]

OOPs!! Nope not sure how to copy others blogs @KMC56  you commented on this blog 

[bonniebee]

I think you have a great idea Greg and I thought someone was going to begin doing it again when i was in NML I found her weekly blog very helpful 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

All of Sarah's No Mans Land Blogs are in the best of ex in one link.

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2017/02/19/no-mans-land-weekly-blogs 

[shashort]

OH Thanks Dale 🙂

[gregp136]

Hey EVERYBODY!!!!  I am here by the sandbox, not by the slide!!!!!!

shashort‌, JonesCarpeDiem‌, bonniebee Barbara145‌ KMC56‌

Yes, I also have read all of her No Mans Land Weekly blogs.  I loved them, and yes they helped a lot!

But long before she did that, she started a very simple check in for all quitters going through NML.  We have lots of information here, and many of have read a lot of it.  This is more about letting each other know we are doing okay.  Still SarahP‌'s idea, just a different one than you all are referring to.

Greg

[Jennifer-Quit]

Good idea Greg-I think you may need to @mention them to wake them up. lol  I can give you some names from The Freedom Train list if you need them.   

[Bree19]

Jennifer_Quit_05-01-14

Morning!  (She says in S African)

Please will you check if I got myself onto the FT list?

I've tried on 3 different occasions and it still gives me red stars to complete which I really HAVE completed.

Thanks - when you have a moment.

Bree

[Bree19]

Yes please.

Bree

[Bree19]

gregp136‌ https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Jennifer_Quit_05-01-14-blog?sr=search&searchId=82c2252b-e66...‌

The "yes please" was a msg for Greg.

I will in future ONLY send comments using @mention.

GGgggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[JonesCarpeDiem]

She tried to see if someone was interested in carrying the connection for those in No Mans Land but no one was willing to take up the charge until now.

Congratulations.

[gregp136]

I like the GGgggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I may ask Mark‌ to change my long in name to that!  

[Jennifer-Quit]

Yes - you are on it.  Shows you have 91 days!

[gregp136]

Yes, I think that would be helpful!

[YoungAtHeart]

Why don't you remember?  Probably the same reason that women who have gone through childbirth don't actually remember THAT brand of pain, either!  Self preservation!!!

😉

[YoungAtHeart]

GREAT idea, Greg!  I think I had my most challenging day after the initial few weeks at Day 101.  I felt as though I was never going to see the end of this journey and was SO ready to throw in the towel.  Luckily, I asked for help - and Dale responded and got me through.

It DOES take a village (or a playground) to be a successful quitter!

Thanks for taking this on.

And - the quit you save just might be your own!

Nancy

[KMC56]

Or its just because I had a larger than normal case of CRS  during game that time period!!

[CommunityAdmin]

I wouldn't advise it Greg.

Mark

[elvan]

gregp136‌ What a really wonderful idea!  I really looked forward to those blogs and to Larry leading the caravan.

[dwwms]

Ok - so it's Monday now but just seeing this blog! Great idea, gregp136‌. I too have read a lot of the weekly blogs in Best of Ex, as well as a lot of OldBones-Larry‌ blogs as the caravan master helping those who are wandering seemingly aimlessly through No Mans Land. They have certainly been helpful.

But to your point - roll call. Here I am at 68 DOF, wishing it was 168 instead! Hoping I'll be out of NML before then. I can understand better now than I ever did in the past why this time is so challenging. When I first started this quit, after making my plan and educating myself better about the addiction than I ever had before, I was SUPER hyped! I was amazed that really the first couple of weeks were not that bad. Then as the days wear on, you start losing that excitement of quitting - dare I say, it just becomes a thing you have to do day after day. Some days are better, some days are worse.

I'm doing good - one day at a time. Saturday was easy - yesterday was hard - today is going pretty good. I keep reminding myself how many times I've failed during this stretch in the past and that I'm not gonna do that again! As I think about all my previous quits, I've learned something from each one but the striking thing is once I've tried a particular strategy, if I attempt that strategy again - it's not the same, it doesn't work. I think about that -  it's one more reason why this time I will SUCCEED!

It also seems that of late, though I relish the support from the elders - I find comfort in knowing others are suffering with me (Sorry - misery loves company!!). I extend my support and strength to those traveling along through this bleak landscape.

Doug

[elvan]

dwwms‌ Please remember that there are good days and bad days no matter what, if you are smoking or not.  You have worked so hard and have made such amazing progress.  I am sorry that you are still struggling but I remember being there...it was around the time where you are now that I cried and cried and cried.  I had no idea why, I could not stop.  I didn't go out in public and cry but I would sit down in my room and cry and I did not think it was because I missed smoking. It was because I was allowing my feelings to be...I wasn't stuffing them any more and that takes getting used to.  For some, it seems easier than for others but for ALL of us, it is a one day at a time journey.

Ellen

[OldBones-Larry]

My friend. I send this message via one of the bedoins to give you warning. Look before you to that grouping of rocks. Those are the Relapse Rocks. In the midst of them is Desolation Point. Watch the trail close so you do not slip and fall over the edge there. I have rescued many from the bottom of that fall.

Be well and travel safely.

One step, and then another, will get you to where you want to be.

Larry the Caravan Master

[dwwms]

True - there's always gonna be good days and bad days. And true, everybody's quit is different - as I said the first couple of weeks really weren't bad for me, for others, holy cow!! I've been here before - I know more now than I did before - it WILL get better - and I always know where to come for support! Thanks, elvan‌

[Bree19]

Spoilsport Mark‌

[elvan]

dwwms‌ It WILL get easier, I have a good number of days and I know that smoking won't help anything but, truthfully, once in a while, I really want to stuff my feelings because they seem so over the top.  I didn't deal with them gradually like I was supposed to, like people who never smoked ALWAYS did.  Now, I have challenges but I know that smoking would not change anything, except maybe to move up my expiration date.

I am really proud of you, Doug.

Ellen

[Strudel]

Great idea gregp136! Thank you for taking this on! 

[MarilynH]

I think it's a super fantastic idea gregp136‌ , and I can play on the swing too and maybe I get you or someone to play on the teeter totter while we're at the sandbox!

[Giulia]

DO IT!!!!  Great idea!  I see Jennifer just started a list of those in NML.  Jennifer-Quit   Question Jennifer:  When is the beginning and end of NML (for listing purposes?)  

NML List 5-29-17 

[gregp136]

Don't leave me up on the teeter totter and not let me down!

[Maryangela]

Ok, from a newbie, how go I find No Mans Land on Sunday's?  I'm convinced I'm going to pull my hair out one strand at a time! 

[Giulia]

Maryangela‌ If you come to the site on Sunday and look through the blogs for that day by going to the HOME page and then on Read the Latest Updates, you'll probably find a blog that Greg has created with a title that has something to do with NML (no man's land).  Or simply click on his avatar gregp136‌ and then on his content.  

[Maryangela]

Thanks!

[Jennifer-Quit]

I included everyone that I know of with less than 130 days.  gregp136‌ said earlier in this post that it would be helpful.  It is really difficult to maintain a list like this.  Greg has authority to edit this if he chooses to.  This was intended to help get him started on his project.  I do not have the time to keep  it updated - too many folks coming and going.

[Bree19]

Giulia‌  Thanks for setting this up!

gregp136‌ Looking forward to following and participating in this new group.

Bree

[Bree19]

Jennifer_Quit_05-01-14 B

And I did it again!!!!

Jennifer , this msg was for you!!!   Thanks for setting this up!

I have a "thing" with you and Giulia picking the wrong name to reply to.   FORGIVENESS PLEASE!!!

Bree

Giulia  Thanks for setting this up!

[gregp136]

And you do not need to wait Maryangela‌.  Hit me up anytime.  I understand what you are going through.  A lot of us are.  It seems like it will never end.  But it will!  Lets attack this together!

[Maryangela]

You certainly are right about that.  I'm not feeling any stronger or confidant about this!

[elvan]

Maryangela‌ Please remember that everyone here who has time in had to go through NML and can help you to do so, sometimes it is amazing to have the support of people who are at the same stage as you but sometimes, it is good to have the support of people who can tell you how they got through and reassure you that it is possible and that things DO get better.  You will feel stronger and more confident as time goes by, you need to celebrate every milestone you get to, every trigger you pass.  You are DOING this and that's a great accomplishment!

Ellen